SOCIAL MEDIA IS FUN

The Next SNARKNYC will be February 17-19

Thu, 15 Sep 2011 14:31:48 -0400

I had such a horrible time at the last one that I wouldn’t miss this one for the world. Well, maybe I’d miss it for the world. But then I’d own the world so I could do whatever I want. Which is go to #SnarkNYC. SUCKAAS!

sarkastickunt:

I have already spoken to the venue and booked the event, as well as a DJ for music.

I am in negotiations with a hotel that is only 2 blocks from the venue for a rate of $189.00.

I am looking for a bar/venue for the pre-game and am trying to organize a brunch for that Sunday.

I will be creating the RSVP sign in page sometime tonight…and I can’t wait to see all of your faces again!!!!

I wish...

Thu, 15 Sep 2011 00:06:54 -0400

…that someone would take me under their tumblr wing and show me the reason behind tumblr’s popularity. Lots of people love it; I still fail to see the magic for myself. Sure, I’m a skeptic…but I have an open mind and I’ll prop the door open for you. Come on in.

BONUS
The letter “E” has always been one of my favorite letters, and I’m willing to forgo liking it so much to learn more about tumblr.

DOES THAT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?

Forgot I had a fantasy football draft so it autodrafted my team,...

Thu, 08 Sep 2011 19:14:41 -0400

Forgot I had a fantasy football draft so it autodrafted my team, which features 7 kickers and starting QB Napoleon Dynamite’s uncle Rico.

CHAMPIONSHIP!

Where the hell have I been?

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 20:25:35 -0400

Cliff’s Notes version:

I just made a major, life-changing decision.

I moved. 2,000 miles away from my friends and family. To a state and time zone I’d never been to.

I packed up my entire life, moved a third to storage, donated another third to Goodwill, and brought the other third with me.

I moved from Sacramento, California to Dallas, Texas.

Considering I own two homes in California, was the top sales exec at my company, and had a great life there, why the hell would I do that, you ask?

Great question. I asked myself that many, many times as I contemplated this decision.

Here’s why: I made this crazy decision for a part-time job.

“The fuck? Why would you do that??” (Yes, I can hear your thoughts…)

Here’s the part-time gig: I am the new in-stadium DJ for the Dallas Cowboys.

Kind of a big deal. Definitely a HUGE opportunity. (After all, everything’s bigger in Texas.)

I had to do it. In the grand scheme of things, the decision was a no-brainer.

Oh, I also got a full time job in sales for the radio station that carries the Cowboys. With an income that guarantees me a lot more than I was making in California.

So yeah, here I am.

I bought a new car, packed up a third of my life and got my houses ready to rent out, and my dog and I made the 2,000 mile journey.

It’s been awesome so far.

Why did I take two months off from Twitter? Another no-brainer…as most of us know, it’s a time thief. I had to get A LOT done to make this all happen.

But I got it all done, and here I am. I see that I lost quite a few (couple hundred) followers since my last tweet, but in reality (which is where we ALL should live) it’s a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things.

I have a twitter account devoted to my Cowboys gig (@CowboysDJEJ) and a website (www.djej.org) that I may occasionally plug with the MaxHoopla account. But for now, MaxHoople will just be used for the lame jokes and observations you came to know and loathe before my hiatus.

So here I am. Max is back, baby.

Let’s party. You down?

Buncha unfollowing bastards

Sun, 03 Apr 2011 23:31:51 -0400

It’s not like I haven’t posted anything in six weeks here, why you gotta bail on me?

Oh wait, it has been six(ish) weeks. I suppose you are excused.

I haven't eaten...

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 22:49:37 -0500

…anything since last Monday evening. Since February 7. ANYTHING.

I’m doing a “master cleanse” diet in which my only intake is a delicious mix of squeezed lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and organic syrup. Once an evening I get to treat myself to a dessert of a quart of salt water, served warm from a water bottle. Chugged.

Given my affinity for food of all makes, shapes, sizes, smells, and drive-thrus, I didn’t think I could do it, but as I’m wrapping this up, it has been quite an amazing experience.

I have more energy than ever, my abs see their shadow after emerging from the depths of my now-extinct spare tire, I feel clean inside (this cleanse is designed to eliminate toxins from the body) and I have a renewed sense of optimism in myself and in what I can accomplish. Weird how this has changed my perspective on life so much. Weird, but awesome.

That said, EVERY single item of food smells absofuckinglutely delicious. In fact, just yesterday I saw a ketchup packet and I thought to myself “Oh. My. God. That looks DELICIOUS.” It was a funny moment, but after I thought about it more, it felt good to know that I am doing something great for myself - both in the short-term and long-term.

I never thought I would be this optimistic about not having eaten anything in over a week. But it’s truly been an amazing way to challenge myself and thrive in a relatively uncomfortable situation. Food is awesome, don’t get me wrong. But health is even better…this has been an amazing catalyst to help steer me back in the right direction and start eating better. Hopefully the myriad of fast food restaurants in the area don’t go under due to my absence.

Has anyone done this cleanse, or know anyone who has?

So didja hear the one about Lady GaGa being a Grand Slam?

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 23:33:53 -0500

If you’re on twitter tonight, odds are you have. Sucks about all the theft, Shauna. I hope @ThiefPolice has some coffee brewing on this fine evening.

Know what's awesome?

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 21:25:42 -0500

Sitting on the couch, watching some TV, ignoring the slight itch on the top of your head.

Then finally deciding you’re ready to itch it.

Upon doing so, learning that the slight itch was really a big hairy spider just kickin’ it atop your dome.

THAT’S awesome.

My halloween costume. Yeah right, like I don’t wear this...

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 15:46:03 -0500

My halloween costume. Yeah right, like I don’t wear this every day.

WOW

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 20:10:40 -0500

“Wow” pretty much sums it up. What an amazing weekend in NYC.

I have so many great stories to tell and many more I shouldn’t tell.

One of the many highlights: I got to meet so many awesome people from the internet. You thought all these people are cool online? Turns out, they’re way better in person.

I’m contemplating writing a book just on all the crazy, insane, lucky adventures I’ve enjoyed over the past four days. It would be an action-adventure travel guide mixed in with memorable scenes of humor and lust.

Would any of you read it?

Everyone’s talking about Jennifer Lopez on American Idol,...

Wed, 19 Jan 2011 21:07:27 -0500

Everyone’s talking about Jennifer Lopez on American Idol, but I think her best role was by far her cameo on South Park.

T-minus 11 days

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 16:55:31 -0500

Until the Jorgasmic cross-country trip.

Thinking about calling it “The Grapple in the Big Apple”

Because I’ll be fighting with my sobriety the entire time.

Not gonna lie

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 16:25:36 -0500

I’m just a little bit more than giddy about my upcoming NYC trip. Cross country for $240…I’d be stupid not to.

Anyone have any suggestions of things to do/check out/eat while I’m there?

Who’s going to the tweetup?

Shane Nickerson: The Anatomy of 20 Comedic Tweets

Thu, 13 Jan 2011 00:57:24 -0500

Shane Nickerson: The Anatomy of 20 Comedic Tweets:

shanenickerson:

1. “BLANK is the BLANK of BLANK.” (ALT: “I’m the BLANK of BLANKING.”)

2. “Quote that is vague enough to clarify.” -attributed to someone unexpected

3. Pun Using Movie/Movie Star/Book/Star Wars/TV Show/Public Figure. #cleverhashtag

4. Funny way to tell you about some thing I’m doing!

5. OH:…

I tried and I tried, but I just couldn’t wait for...

Thu, 06 Jan 2011 23:22:13 -0500

I tried and I tried, but I just couldn’t wait for yuckyducky’s Foot Fetish Friday tomorrow…so here’s my contribution.

HOT.

I know, right?

Sometimes I Don't Mind: 10 Top Tweets: @RexHuppke

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 13:26:04 -0500

Sometimes I Don't Mind: 10 Top Tweets: @RexHuppke:

Hear, hear. Here’s to Rex. Good stuff, Joel.

flyoverjoel:

I’d love to call @RexHuppke Twitter’s Everyman, but the truth is he’s way to smart to hold that title (also, I imagine his job is much cooler than mine). When I read his tweets, I can’t help to nod my head knowingly before I burst into laughter. I’ve really enjoyed both his commentary on Twitter…

Where did I leave my keys?

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 13:09:23 -0500

Last time I lost my keys, I found them in the middle of the airport runway. Maybe check there?

Or, try your pockets. That seems to be a popular spot too.

How much wood (erections) could a woodchuck (whore) chuck (suck off) if a woodchuck (whore) could chuck (suck off) wood (erections)?

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 13:02:45 -0500

Mom? Is that you?

hahahahaha!

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 13:02:26 -0500

You must be watching Two and a Half Men again.

I thought you were sexy as hell. The elevator story clinched the deal. Oh yeah, and you made me laugh. That was pretty fucking sexy too

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 13:01:27 -0500

Well thanks Pax! I love that elevator story, glad you did too. Further, any perceived sexiness I may have is trumped by your resplendent beauty and intelligence.